1.31.2009

sixteen degrees outside

When the weather is cold enough to kill you 
living in a frigid place 
The sun is like a distant friend
you walk across the frozen ground 
all you see is a white frozen mass 
a sobering cold that takes you in 
longing for some sort of warmth 

At this point I feel at a loss
like I lost all point to go on 
a draining feeling of what could be 
when will this all make sense 
I've been giving all my time 
it just seems like I'm standing in one place 
never moving on to a better vision 
just this constant drumming of nonsense
living each day hoping to find an answer to this question 
one that eats away at me 
the path I see before me 
is one I no longer want to follow
just a never ending passage of disappointments 
living each day as an automaton 
going through the motions of a lost cause 
once in awhile I see a glimpse of what could be 
but then it's all washed away by nonsense
looking for a better way to understand all of this 
everything takes on this constant colour of grey 
A wash of the same everywhere you look 

The people before your are all a blur 
a walking mass of zombies 
longing for a break from this unforgiving cold 
it cares for no one 
like a hunter in search of prey 
killing it's quest for desire 

I long to be back at my true home 
the place where I belong 
A land that most never understand 
they see a world that's filled with decadence 
waiting for that call to bring me home 
taking in the world I love 
with all of it's nonsense and opulence 
I miss it like I'd miss my own limb 
I no longer want the doldrums that I face 
I want to sleep until it's my time to leave 
like Rip Winkle but I'm awakened by a phone call
ready to jump to my feet 
Taking the long journey to my true home 
a place where you feel the sun on your face 
you're surrounded by millions 
living their lives moving in a flow 
taking in the views I miss 
the places I run to in my times 
where I long to reflect upon myself 
a constant crashing of the thoughts
that drive me to a better place 
looking out among the masses 
with a better vision 
a better idea of who I am 
when you inhale the surroundings 
you'll feel a new life 
like that on the silver screen 

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